


Hold Me

by spoopskg



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Eventual Romance, Idiots in Love, Killugon - Freeform, M/M, Nightmares, They're on Whale Island, Zoldycks - Freeform, gon comforts killua, i'm not even kidding this boy cries it out, just two oblivious idiots cuddling, they're 13-14 in this, this is so soft i CAN'T, vulnerable killua
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29362950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoopskg/pseuds/spoopskg
Summary: Killua is having some issues sleeping so Gon decides to help out
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 2
Kudos: 53





	Hold Me

3 AM on a Wednesday morning, It had been about a day since they’d arrived on Whale Island Visiting Gon’s Aunt Mito. They were having such a great time running around and touring the Island just getting to hang out with each other! But not all things could be happy and dandy all the time. Especially for Killua 

Killua was having nightmares every night since being with his family again, and he never spoke a word of it to Gon. He hated making Gon worry about him so he’d kept quiet about everything going on and put on his usual calm, confident, and cool front he had in front of pretty much everyone. 

Killua was stuck in his own mind as he slept. Being plagued by that of his memories and deepest fears. 

\------------------

_Footsteps echoed loudly as he sprinted down winding corridors no matter how hard he made as an effort to keep himself silent, a figure resembling his older brother, Illumi followed suit and made no mistake of his every turn following him closely as the both sped down the labyrinth of a building. Walls continuously moved throughout the place and suddenly, one shifted at an alarming speed right at him_

_Of course Killua had to pause to brace for impact in case it didn’t stop but he’d realized all too late that he’d been purposefully cornered by the Illumi in his mind. Illumi grabbed him by the wrist firmly “You can’t escape Kil, give in.” it said blankly  
_

_"No! Get away from me!" he tried to swat Illumi off of him but it was no use.. his brother's grip only grew stronger_

_"Why are you trying to escape from us Killua? You know your efforts will have meant nothing in the end just give up and come home." There was a soulless expression in the imposter's eyes. Like two empty black holes staring through his brain_

_"No! no no no!" Killua shouted "Dad said I could go with my friends! We made a promise!"_

_"The promise was a lie, Killua. You're a Zoldyck, you can't make friends. Don't forget that."_

_"No no! that's not true, Gon is my friend. He said that he was! He promised we'd stay together and travel to see the world! He's my friend and he wouldn't lie to me!" Killua cried, struggling harder in his older brother's grip as he tried to break free. He even bit down on Illumi trying to get him to let go but nothing worked. Illumi truly had him cornered with no way out_

_"How can you be so easily deceived." He pulled Killua toward him. The room around them began to violently shake and Killua's vision began to blur. Illumi was intimidatingly close to him and he just wanted to get away. He hated feeling this weak and powerless against anyone, it was like torture just to be in one place cornered by the last person he'd ever want to see right now.  
_

_"I'm not!" pleaded Killua "Just let me stay with him please! i won't betray him!" Killua writhed desperately in his grip, wanting nothing more than to break free from this._

_Killua closed his eyes for only a few seconds before opening them again to find that Illumi was no longer there but his father was now the one holding him in place by his arm, the same empty eyes his brother had. He flinched ever so slightly and his breath hitched. His father was someone he respected but feared a lot more. For him to be the one holding the white haired boy in place was a lot scarier than it seemed. "You eventually will betray your friends, it's inevitable."  
_

_"NO!" cried Killua, he was close to tearing up. He'd finally found people who cared about his well-being and called him a friend and the thought of loosing the people who cared about him was unbearable. Especially Gon... "Let go of me!!" He tried to rip his arm from Silva but it was no use._

**_Give up_ **

_The words echoed in his mind and they were painful._

_Killua wanted so badly for this to be over. This felt like an eternity of pressure on his mind with his whole family there to cause all of it.  
_

_Killua blinked again to then find himself cornered. No one held onto him but his whole family stood grouped together overshadowing his smaller figure in the dead end hall. They were all blank and emotionless. Sharing the same empty black eyes. And then something he'd prayed would never happen began to play out._

_An imposter Gon stepped from the center of the group and walked forward until he was about 2 feet from Killua, who was looking up at him with nothing but terror and distraught lining his expression. "I can't believe you, you didn't care? Is leaving us behind the only thing you can do?" the words had an edge like a needle_

_"I'm disappointed."  
_

_Tears began to pool at his lower eyelids. Disappointment. Betrayal. Carelessness. Killua couldn't take this. not from someone he thought so highly of._

_\------------------_

Killua shot off his pillow with a short yelp, he was breathing heavy and trying to keep his emotions at bay. He placed a hand into the front of his hair trying to hold onto something so he could confirm he wasn't in his nightmare anymore, as he was already in a cold sweat and his heart was racing so fast he felt like it wasn't there. Killua pulled his knees slowly to his chest and hugged them close, eyes kept wide and open. He couldn't afford to fall back into that and have to experience it again for the night.

The only thing relieving about the situation was the he knew the Gon he saw wasn't real.. The words however.. they'd sink in for a while.

As if on que there was a knock on his door "Killua?" asked a groggy sounding Gon from the other side of the door "I heard a yell are you okay?" Crap, he forgot how sensitive Gon's senses were. And how perceptive the other was even while asleep. He should've made an effort to keep more quiet. Killua threw a blanket over his head and swiftly rolled off onto the floor away from the door hoping that he could get away with not being seen. Gon had then opened the door and looked around from the doorway to see what looked like an empty room at first but after a decent look in the darkness he saw only a little of the blanket peeking over the edge of the mattress. 

He huffed and walked in, closing the door behind him and slowly making his way to the opposite side of the bed to discover his friend huddled into himself with a large blanket covering his whole body, covering everything but the tips of his feet. He eased himself down next to Killua and sat there quietly for a moment to let Killua take in his presence. "What's wrong?" Gon asked in a calm yet concerned voice.

Killua didn't answer. He only shifted a little to bring his feet beneath the blanket.

"Come on, you gotta tell me whats the matter?" Gon scooted to sit closer to him.

"i'm- I'm fine, it's not important. Go away." Killua muttered in a nearly unintelligible speak

"Why are you hiding from me then?" Gon lifted an edge of the blanket to reveal a vulnerable looking Killua, it almost didn't feel real. Killua was never one to be a vulnerable person in front of anyone but to see him looking so scared and upset was a new experience. It was short lived and the white-haired boy quickly took hold of the situation and ripped the blanket from Gon's hand and covered himself again, holding it tight around his own body "I'm not hiding from you!" He yelled. "Leave me alone!"

Gon's expression grew a little more stern and he sighed softly. Then without another moment of hesitation he grabbed the blanket again and pulled the whole thing off of Killua in one big yank leaving the boy exposed in the dark room "Hey give that back!!" Killua reached out desperately for the blanket Gon had stolen from him, his current barrier from Gon figuring out how he was really feeling.

"I'll give this back when you tell me whats really wrong!" Gon held the balled up blanket as far from Killua's reach as he could. 

"It was just a bad dream, it's nothing, now give it back!" Killua flailed one of his arms toward the blanket trying to get to it as best he could while the other covered his face

"Killua.." he lowered the blanket a little "You had a nightmare? How come you didn't say that before? It was bad wasn't it..." Gon's expression softened, So Killua had a nightmare and that's what was causing him to be so upset? What could've happened in it that would've made him like this?

Killua had already given up on trying to get the blanket and was now keeping his face turned away from Gon, refusing to look at him for fear the tears built up at his eyes would be noticed. He was back to being quiet again.

"I'm not going to judge you for having a nightmare, okay? I won't laugh or be surprised or anything at all. I just want you to trust and talk to me. I won't force you to tell me what happened but I'm worried." Gon put a hand down gently on his shoulder and kept a steady gaze on him

"I do trust you." Killua answered quietly and weakly "I just-"

"take your time." he rubbed a thumb across the area on Killua's shoulder hoping to be at least somewhat soothing to him

"I've been having these terrible nightmares every night ever since we left my house. I'm exhausted, Gon. I want them to stop." Killua pulled his legs in tighter and buried his face into his knees. Gon wasn't surprised. He had sensed something off about Killua ever since they'd left. He could tell that Killua was only the slightest bit more sluggish than he normally was and he'd gotten pretty tired and down especially right in the mornings, often refusing some sweets he'd usually accept off the bat. He had hoped Killua would come to him first with his problem but was mistaken to the fact Killua never opened up to anyone. He was learning more and more about Killua's trust issues.

"I figured." Gon replied with a nod "I was hoping you'd maybe tell me yourself without me prying but that's okay." he let out a low breath and began to speak again

"I'm glad you told me you were having nightmares. I wanna help you, especially if they're ongoing. I hate seeing you so upset about something that I can easily help to fix. That fact you're willing to tell me about them is a big deal to me because I'm aware of how hesitant you are to share many things with me. And I know you probably didn't want to tell me because you don't want people to worry about you or try to help you because you don't like asking for help." Gon's hand on his shoulder drifted up to hold Killua's face softly. Gon had definitely been someone who could read people pretty well "I want you to put as much trust in me as you can because I'll always be here for you, okay? You're strong enough to do that and you have somebody right here who cares a lot about you. I don't know what you saw in that nightmare but none of it was real and I'll do anything to prove it. Nothing in that stupid nightmare of yours will ever be true, got that? I'm never going to let you believe them and get hurt like this. I'm here to protect you from that now." Killua nodded quietly, a soft sniffle cutting through the temporary silence

"And if you try to hide your problems from me again, I'll have to come after you and take your hiding blanket away again." Gon chuckled trying to lighten the mood once again, he turned Killua's head to look at him and for a split second it felt like Killua moved his face on his own to look at him. 

He placed his own hand on top of Gon's which still rested on his cheek. Two vivid blue eyes met with his own amber ones. Killua finally let the buildup of saltwater tears slip out and stream like rivers down his pale and dry face. His soft sobs only continued as Gon's little speech replayed through his mind. Gon believed in him and cared so much about him and that was a growing fact in his mind. It didn't help that the moonlight from the window illuminated Gon's face just right to make his big light brown eyes glow softly in the dark. Killua couldn't help but stare at the soft and kind expression he was given as he cried right in from of him. He still wasn't going all out but the sobs, whimpers, and shaky inhales coming out of him were enough of how much we was willing to let go at the moment. They were a pain filled yet relieved noise and a whole mixed emotion on their own. 

Gon gently rubbed his tear stained cheek with the same thumb he'd rubbed Killua's shoulder with, the other was beginning to lean his face into the two of their hands asking for the soft affection to continue as he reluctantly let out the build-up of months he'd spent bottling up everything. He then shifted his hand ever so slightly to reach beneath his eyes with his hand and carefully and gingerly wiped his tears away without a second thought. he was beginning to calm down finally after all of that.

"don't leave." Killua said weakly between breaths. A plea for him to stay there and let the moment last.

"I won't, I promise." Gon replied.

Suddenly Killua took his hand away from Gon's and pulled Gon into and embrace, burying his face into his shoulder and holding on tight. Gon was surprised to see Killua accept such physical contact and hugging him just after being so vulnerable like that. Either way Gon obviously accepted and hugged back to hold him tight in his arms. While Killua gripped the back of Gon's shirt like his existence depended on it Gon held onto him firmly yet gently his hands placed one over the other on Killua's back.

"Hold me.." Killua muttered 

"Absolutely." answered Gon

Minutes went by where they sat like this, Gon humming soft tunes and telling short stories for Killua to listen to as he calmed down completely. At a few points Killua would answer back or make a short comment but for the most part he kept quiet and just listened and focused on Gon's voice When he checked the time he began to pull away from the now pretty clingy Killua "Are you ready to go back to sleep now?"

"Are you leaving the room?" Killua asked

"I wasn't planning to but i can if you want me t-" Gon was then cut off

"stay." Killua interrupted "please?"

"of course." Gon got up and lent a hand out to Killua to take so he could help himself up, Killua reluctantly took it and pulled himself up but as soon as he did Gon guided him right into the bed he'd been sleeping on except for this time it looked like Gon was staying there in the bed with him. 

Sooner or later they found themselves cuddled close together underneath the same big blanket Killua had over him from before, but this time he wasn't alone underneath it. He had Gon and that was more than enough for him. Killua had his eyes closed and Gon continued to hum and mumble songs quietly to him. He felt a hand playing with and twirling silver-white locks around his fingers in it's messy state. Killua felt a sense of safety and tranquility with Gon holding him and keeping him close beneath the blanket he'd used to previously hide his emotions. This was a subtle way they'd both began to admit their feelings. And honestly, He felt a lot closer to Gon than he did before. 

Killua began to drift off to the sound of Gon's voice and soft touches to his hair. Everything he'd been doing just made him feel so warm and calm. he loved it. Just as he was about to loose consiousness he heard Gon whisper something, He had no idea what it was but he was very sure it was Gon's voice. 

-

Little did he know it was an "I love you." and a soft endearing kiss to his forehead. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading AAAA fsdvfdvdgfds!!


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